Liberaleaks

Here at Politically Homeless, we have our spies, we know what's going on.

The following are* a series of leaked minutes taken of Liberal Party meetings taken over the last four years.

C O N F I D E N T I A L

SENSITIVE

01/04/2007
TAGS: NSW FED
SUBJECT: REVIEW OF NSW STATE ELECTION MEETING BY STATE EXECUTIVE

1. The chairman of the meeting, [redacted], noted that the Liberal Party had lost its fourth consecutive state election in defiance of Mr Clarke's assurance that all good Christian people would rise up and deliver government to the Liberals.

2. Mr Clarke responded with apoplexy, as he does when on a hiding to nothing, and demanded that all homosexuals and freemasons leave the room at once.

3. [redacted] pointed out that Mr Debnam was not even the brightest spark in his own home, that sluggos are never a winning gambit and that substantial policies on transport, health, education and other issues would have been nice.

4. [redacted] called for party unity as the Howard government was under threat. What was needed was a high-level operative in the Labor Party to scupper Labor from within.

5. Mr Clarke insisted that any high-level operative acting for the Liberal Party within Labor be male, and preferably named after one of Christ's apostles.

6-10. [redacted]

END


C O N F I D E N T I A L

SENSITIVE

01/12/2007
TAGS: FED
SUBJECT: REVIEW OF FEDERAL ELECTION MEETING BY STATE EXECUTIVE

1. The chairman of the meeting, [redacted], noted that the Coalition had lost Federal Government, and that Prime Minister Howard had lost his seat.

2. Mr Clarke said that John Howard had never supported him anyway and was concerned that ministers' offices were slow in returning his calls.

3. The Party's high-level operative in the Labor Party, [redacted], assured the meeting that both Rudd and McKew would be nobbled.

4. Mr Clarke said that the Labor leader had said that the greatest moral challenge of our time was climate change, when in fact it was and is abortion. The Party's high-level operative in the Labor Party, [redacted], replied that it would be no further progressed in the next term or the one after.

5-13. [redacted]

END


C O N F I D E N T I A L

SENSITIVE

01/09/2008
TAGS: NSW
SUBJECT: REVIEW OF NSW STATE POLITICAL POSITION MEETING BY STATE EXECUTIVE

1. The chairman of the meeting, [redacted], noted that the Premier, Mr Yemmer, relies heavily upon the Liberal Party to keep him in his job even though he was not a member of the Party.

2. Mr Clarke responded that families did not need electrical power and that it was a passing fad, like Aboriginals, and demanded that all homosexuals and freemasons leave the room at once.

3. The Party's high-level operative in the Labor Party, [redacted], said that all the Liberals needed to do was to vote against whatever the Premier proposed, and force Labor MPs to choose between the Premier or their party platform.

4. Mr O'Farrell agreed with the high-level operative.

5. Mr Clarke responded that Liberal policy supported privatising electricity assets at any price, and that it would be indecent to destabilise a Labor government because Mr Yemmer was a good and decent Christian man with a family.

6. [redacted]

7. Mr Clarke pointed out that the Liberal Party would not win office if Mr Yemmer fell from office, and that it would be a sin for the Party to facilitate the rise of Mr Sartor, who was living in sin.

8. [redacted]

END


C O N F I D E N T I A L

SENSITIVE

01/12/2009
TAGS: FED
SUBJECT: REVIEW OF FEDERAL POLITICAL POSITION MEETING BY STATE EXECUTIVE

1. The chairman of the meeting, [redacted], asked the high level operative whether the Liberal Party should retain Mr Turnbull as leader or whether it should switch to Mr Abbott or Mr Hockey.

2. The high-level operative replied that Mr Abbott would be the ideal leader any party could have.


C O N F I D E N T I A L

SENSITIVE

01/07/2010
TAGS: FED
SUBJECT: REVIEW OF FEDERAL POLITICAL POSITION MEETING BY STATE EXECUTIVE

1. The chairman of the meeting, [redacted], thanked the high level operative for getting Mr Rudd to shirk "the greatest moral challenge of our time", but pointed out that he had promised to get rid of Mr Rudd and asked for progress on that.

2. The Party's high-level operative in the Labor Party, [redacted], told the chairman that Rudd would be gone by month's end.

3-7. [redacted]

8. [redacted] asked about Maxine McKew. The high-level operative said that she would do no campaigning, so the Liberal candidate only had to turn up to win.

9. Mr Clarke sought to clarify an earlier statement, saying that some of his best friends were Aboriginals but only if they were Christian family men.

10. [redacted]

*the word "not" should have been placed here for the sake of truth, but was removed and placed here instead.