How I voted

House: This is not the order in which they appeared on the ballot paper:

[1] Democrat. Why? For the same reason anyone votes Democrat: because I felt sorry for them. Fewer than 1% of the electorate voted as I did. Hooray!

[2] Maxine McKew, for reasons I posted on Crikey: the area needs a local member who can navigate Canberra, not an absentee landlord who's had his - and someone else's - fair go. I was glad that I didn't see the cheesy speech she made on election night until after the event: I hope McKew doesn't become the Oprah of Northern Sydney (can't help you with your issue, but here's a hug instead).

... that's my major-party preference sorted. A Labor vote, eh? Now, who's next ... nobody looks appealling. Who do I hate? Nazis and communists.

[13] CEC. The Illinois Nazis of Australian politics. God damn the League of Rights and all who sail in her.

[12] One Nation. As above, but dumber and while still spiteful, slightly less malicious.

[11] LDP: I would have put them ahead of the major party if they were actually libertarian, but as they've thrown in their lot with the gunlosers, they can piss off.

... wot, no Socialist-Fuckwit Alliance? No Maoist Apologist League? Maybe I'd spent too much time in the inner city.

[10] Green: they put a poster of the ridiculous Kerry Nettle out the front of the booth to remind me why to vote against these fools.

... at this point I turned my attention to Christian Hypocrisy reps:

[9] The old duck who always stands for Fred Nile's outfit should inspire some sentimentality, but when you consider Nile is one of those lazy Christians who's stopped doing good works and stresses his virtues by whom he looks down upon, his party can go below the merely absurd.

[8] Fielding First: no evidence of Christian principle, just another lite-brite-n-trite independent.

... this leaves positions 3-7.

[3] Yusuf Tahir got a sympathy vote just because of Jackie Kelly and Troy Craig, and not because I know anything about them. "Ala Akba", as they say in St Marys.

[4] John Howard. Never voted for a sitting PM before, never voted against one either. Time to go.

[5] Climate change.

[6] and [7]: two independents whose names mean nothing to me.


Senate: I vote below the line and have done since Bronwyn Bishop rolled Chris Puplick in 1989. I voted [1] Marise Payne and [2] Democrat and [100] Kerry Nettle. I tried really hard to find good moderate liberal candidates and came up with about 12, numbered accordingly. Again I went after the Trots, white supremacists and Christian Hypocrisy candidates, leaving me with about 70% of the paper blank. I then numbered the remainder as [13], which means that my ballot exhausts at that point (why the law can't be changed such that my ballot exhausts after the last number of my preferences is a mystery. I'm sure there's a reason, but I'm equally sure it's bullshit).


What about your predictions last Tuesday? Ah, yes.

Here's where I thought I did well: Bass, Bennelong, Boothby, Bonner, Bowman, Corangamite, Deakin, Dobell, Eden-Monaro, Hasluck, Leichhardt, Lindsay, Macquarie, Moreton, Page, Petrie, Wakefield and Wentworth (ha!). I'm going to claim Kingston and Makin, even though they were pointed out to me by someone else, because I acknowledged them before election day. This doesn't make me Antony Green, but what does?

Too early to tell: Cowper, Solomon.

I'm glad I was wrong about Bob Baldwin losing Paterson, he's a good man. Likewise, I'm sad that Senator Andrew Bartlett and the Democrats are gone.

This is where, and why, I botched it:

• Cook: I still say the Liberals in that area are riven and the winning candidate can only deal with voters in the abstract. One for the landslide.



• Fadden, Flynn and Forrest: three for the landslide.



• Gippsland: I still say McGauran is a waste of space. One for the landslide.



• Grey: I was smart enough to stay away from Kalgoorlie so shoulda stayed away from this too.



• Hughes and McEwen: Labor candidates mustn't have wanted it, two more more the landslide.



• McPherson: One for the landslide.



• Robertson: I still say Labor chose the wrong candidate and the Coast will recoil from Belinda Neal if someone like Mick Gallacher takes her on - but he won't.



• Ryan: Michael Johnson is an accident waiting to happen, not a contributor to the longterm future. Another one for the landslide.



• Stirling: Yet another for the landslide.



• Sturt: So I don't like Pyne, sue me. I'm not that upset he won, as Downer would be. How will he cope in a post-Costello world?

Watch for byelections in Wannon and Berowra at least.