Ban the Health Services Union

After reading this, one can only assume that Nathan Rees is angry, just as he's angry about bikie gangs, late trains, decrepid hospitals, dopey ministers, and schools that don't teach nothin'. There is only one course of action for the State Governments of NSW and South Australia to take.

Ban the Health Services Union.

I have no idea whether or not the brothels allegedly patronised by Thomson and Jackson have engaged in people-smuggling and sexual slavery, or underpayment of whatever allowances sex workers get, or other activities used by these so-called unions in their "membership drives". Ken Ticehurst has been done out of a job by activities that were clearly, ah, below the belt and may have grounds for some sort of public redress. The very idea that the marital problems of the Jackson family should be footed by hard-working healthcare services people is just not on. Time for another dose of the angry pills, Mr Premier, and take a firm stand against rorting and criminal allegations of this sort.

Ban the Health Services Union.

In a terse statement, Mr Thomson dismissed as "incorrect and false" allegations that he had misused credit cards during his term as federal secretary of the Health Services Union, including cash advances exceeding $100,000 over five years.

Both incorrect and false at the same time? Luckily they weren't also counterfactual, erroneous, faulty, flawed, imprecise, improper, inaccurate, inappropriate, inexact, mistaken, not trustworthy, specious, unreliable, unseemly, unsound, unsuitable, untrue, way off, or wide of the mark - then they'd be in real trouble.

With all these claims and counter-claims, the HSU is clearly not in a position to meet its stated aims - but then again:

Getting involved [in the HSU] means:

• ... Doing things you usually couldn't or wouldn't do alone


• ... Having fun and doing something that you enjoy

Helping your colleagues with workplace issues is clearly an afterthought. If you believe that the HSU is about workers in the Health Sector, then you probably believe that the Bandidos are enthusiasts for two-wheeled vehicular transport, and I've got a bridge to sell you.

Ban the Health Services Union.

Read the lyrics of one of their club songs, and you can almost hear the roar of hogs in the background (people who care about families like Ropeable Rees better look away before they become incandescent):

Before the union did appear
My life was half as clear
Now I've got the power
To the working hour
And every other day of the year.

So though I'm a working man
I can ruin the government's plan
Though I'm not too hard
The sight of my card
Makes me some kind of superman.

Oh you don't get me I'm part of the union
You don't get me I'm part of the union
You don't get me I'm part of the union
Till the day I die, till the day I die.

Chilling stuff, I'm sure you'll agree. Rees might not have a plan but he certainly hates the idea of it being ruined.

Ban the Health Services Union.

Sure, there was Dean Mighell and his "run-throughs" and his encounters with Suzana - but that was way back in the olden days when we were more innocent about elected officials misusing funds. Besides, the Libs were in government then, and any activity by John Howard against this kind of misuse of workers' funds would have been simple harassment. The laws against outlaw gangs clearly applies these troublemakers, raid their headquarters before someone does a drive-by shooting or used their health-service knowledge to permanently dispatch some factional warrior beyond the need for healthcare.

Ban the Health Services Union.

Seriously, what is with these people? The Prime Minister giggles and lunges his way around a New York strip club, and the NSW Central Coast - one of the fastest-growing urben centres in Australia - is represented by two turkeys, Shagger Thomson and Belinda "Don't you know who I am?" Neal. If the Liberal Party don't win both Robertson and Dobell at the next election they may as well give up now. The government needs to rebuild public trust with this vital part of our State, and decisive action must be taken (well, fixing Gosford and Wyong hospitals would be really expensive, and the railways have been under repair for twenty years to little real effect) - lunge for something quick and easy, Narky Nathan. Barry O'Farrell would never do it, just as it took Chifley to shoot striking coalminers. Be a Labor hero, and ...

Ban the Health Services Union.

You can help write the script for Underbelly 6, with the obligatory breasts in every shot thanks to the brothels and the marital bust-up, based on the meltdown described in the Wallace/Norington story linked above. If the authorities can break up the Mr Asia Bangkok/Singapore shuttle service, the BLF and the mighty Painers & Deckers Union, surely they can use the Outlaw Motorcycle Gang (OMG) laws and ...

Ban the Health Services Union.

Sure, Australia needs more and better healthcare workers. Given the tightness of health budgets across the country you can't really incentivate them, but why not put the wind up them with a parliamentary committee (preferably not involving Craig Thomson) making the baleful cry: "Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Health Services Union?"

Ban the Health Services Union. I'm Alan Jones.